Violence and Barriers to Meaningful Relationships

A MSRT student at Temple University. shared that she had been introduced to Robert Waldinger’s TED Talk: What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness.
Here is a link to the video:
The student shared, “His main point states that in life, our happiness is most influenced by meaningful relationships.”
She asked: “My question to you is how, in our practice, can we best promote meaningful relationships for our participants when there may be barriers due to violence? What kinds of interventions do you use to help various populations that may become more reclusive due to past abuse, gender violence, etc.? In what ways can we address this issue with participants?”
Here is my response:


I provide services for children (both male and female) between (ages 7 to 12) who have abuse-reactive needs. Children admitted to the unit have experienced some type of traumatic in their life.

 It is a Psychiatric Residential Treatment Facility. The typical stay is 6 to 9 months.

Some of the common needs among patients include:


  • Lack of interpersonal skills (possibly from learned behaviors)
  • Lack of assertiveness skills (often resorts to physical, verbal aggression)
  • Lack of a social support system (no identified foster family or adoptive family)
  • Lack trust in others
  • In addition, patients may have other conditions, like Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
  • Some children have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) – this is where they had neglect at an early age and fail to learn how to have emotional connections and relationships


Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavior Therapy (TF-CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) are the two primary treatment modalities. There is evidenced-based research that demonstrates that these two approaches are effective.

Both TF-CBT and DBT have a focus on interpersonal skills.

  • In the TF-CBT mode, there is a phase called, enhancing social skills
  • In the DBT model, there interpersonal skills are one of the four main skill sets taught.


We identify our intervention as “interpersonal skills training or social skills training.”

We in recreation therapy have a lot to offer in this domain.


We use a lot of recreation activities as means to achieve outcomes.

  • Sports: taking turns, good sportsmanship, being part of a team/ group
  • Board games: taking turns, being a good sport,
  • Social activities: ballroom party for Halloween or ice cream social
  • Education/ classroom settings: to teach skills. Using pictures of children in different social situations
  • The listening game: Teach what paraphrasing is. Get a book like “The conversation starts.” Read a question to a group member. Group member answers. Randomly select a different group member to paraphrase what the first group member said to indicate he (or she) listened and then ask that group member a question.
  • Assertiveness training: Teach the children to ask for what they want or to express their feelings with use of I-statements.
  • Cinema therapy card game: Play a movie. Ask children questions from the card game that get the kids to point out social skills, emotions in characters
  • Community re-entry outings: passes to local parks, zoos, water parks, mall, or other places.
  • Emotional support: being able to recognize emotions in others and be able to offer support
  • Family-based recreation therapy: with rec therapist: Mental health therapist/ counselor provide family therapy. and the rec therapist often supervise the community re-entry outings before a new family is on their own with a patient. The rec therapist can implement games and activities to help the family and child to get to know each other, and supervises passes in the community.


The recreation therapist serves as a role-model, a coach, a facilitator, and evaluates progress.

Robert Pirsig (author of Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance) dies.

I just read a npr post on fb that Robert Pirsig died at 88.

He is the author of Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance.

It is a book about the road. I [DannyPettry] don’t do motorcycles because I’ve wrecked everything I have. However, I do enjoy driving my mustang for long road trips.

I read in the nrp article that his book was rejected by 121 publishing houses. My mentor, Jack Canfield shares that his Chicken Soup book had been rejected by 144 publishing houses (if I recall that number correctly).

Read the article here: 

Alexandera Millet dedicates her life to helping veterans

Chrystian Tejedor had written an article titled, “Recreational therapy student dedicates her life’s work to helping veterans that was posted at FIU News.

It is a story about Alexandera Millet.

The article is heart-warming and amazing. It is how she got involved in recreational therapy.

Read it here:

humor therapy? okay – who did this t-shirt?

I saw a pinterest post for a t-shirt (See below).

“A CTRS is like riding a bike in hell” and something about everything being on fire.

I find humor in this t-shirt because a few weeks ago a study was posted that claimed recreation therapy is one of the most stress free jobs.

I disagree. There is a lot of stress working in the human services field. WE have words for it like “burnout” and “compassion fatigue.”

Please note I am posting the t-shirt below as humor.

I don’t agree with it. I am not an affiliate of this t-shirt.

I have developed this uncanny ability to deflect negativity over the years. It’s a super-power I call, being a CTRS. laugh aloud.

Please do consider buying one of my t-shirt designs at

Please don’t buy their t-shirt about a CTRS riding a bike in hell.